Author Dimitrij Kapitelman grew up amidst humiliation and violence It wasn t until he was an adult that his own rage came to the surface but it wasn t directed against the neo Nazis who had beaten him up TEXT Dimitrij Kapitelman ILLUSTRATION Jordy van den Nieuwendijk The year is 1997 I m ten years old and have been in Ger many for about 24 months Kiev Meerane center for refugees now Miltitz primary school Leipzig For weeks I ve been boasting to my parents that my diploma in Ger man will be marked grade A But on the day of its confer ral I discover an inexplicable B I stand before my parents distraught I m firmly convinced that they will not tolerate such injustice toward their boy But they just pull me toward them and we shrink to the size of a comma A B will be enough to be recommended for a German Gymnasium the type of secondary school attended by academically inclined pupils And that is something my parents definitely don t want to jeopardize Humiliated we sneak home Rage was an expense we couldn t afford Anger is perhaps the most political emotion of all No other human emotion is collectively outlawed and sanctioned more quickly Those allowed to show anger are privileged Donald Trump can let off steam on Twitter every day In the best case anger can highlight injustice bring about change On the other hand it can also simply explode without leading to any progress As so often happens when the emotions of young men result in physical violence I saw my father as a man who hoards his anger under the mattress A Jew who grew up in the repressive Soviet system pudgy craving peace and quiet simply not a fighter But back then I watch him busily working out with the chest expander in the living room and I think of him as the Russian Rambo One day my father shouts panting that it s time for me to work on my torso as well And I take this man to man admonition with a sense of pride Several times I listen to him swearing at home saying that he is not taken seriously in this country Neo Nazis all across the neighbor hood Some days my father doesn t even dress properly It s 1998 when my time in the Gymnasium starts I m not ex actly motivated my lousy grades are actually deserved My mother is the most productive member of the family in this phase She is learning German earning money teaching me how to ride a bike and not taking this new difficult life personally During this time I begin to suspect why women usually integrate more quickly because they don t mourn lost status pride or a vague sense of honor Which path of anger would I tread At thirteen when I manage half a dozen expander pulls the neo Nazis on the block solemnly acknowledge my chest by beating me up Strangely enough I don t remem ber being angry afterwards Not the next day not the fol lowing year My father constantly advises me to be quiet and grateful in a foreign country You mean as quiet as the people who didn t say anything against the Holocaust on their doorstep back then I snap a know it all I become a rebel but my teenage life inspires me far too much to walk around as an angry young man It s only a matter of time before it will inevitably make me the president a rock star or a professional basketball player I explore my career possibilities while cuddling my dog and my cat after school every day Perhaps it s the soft nature of my father that protects me from terrible bitterness during this time My calmness makes me feel superior to the neo Nazis Some times I even feel sorry for them I don t get the impression that baseball bats bring them any closer to their goals Don t they have any cuddly advisors at home More or less unconsciously I recognize in them the exact model of everything I never want to become As absurd as it may sound this deterrent example had a soothing effect on me Angry Young Man Essay26 Robert Bosch Stiftung

Vorschau RBS 2019-01 EN Seite 26
Hinweis: Dies ist eine maschinenlesbare No-Flash Ansicht.
Klicken Sie hier um zur Online-Version zu gelangen.